Drinking alcohol to kill old memories?

OK, first of all, stop drinking!!! You think this guy hurting you bad? If so, how would you like something 1000 times worse? Because alcoholism is 1000 times worse. And that's the road you're headed down. You already have an alcohol dependency. You need to stop drinking immediately, and never have any again!!!! That's your real problem. I also think that you might not realize this but you're keeping the pain of losing this guy fresh, so that you have an excuse to drink every day.